Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
