i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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