my mouth tastes like poor choices
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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