I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
