How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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