How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
