they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
