Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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