can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize