yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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