and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
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