Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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