My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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