you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
