I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
