So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
