You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
