Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
