u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
