His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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