I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize