The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
