Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
