is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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