and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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