its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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