i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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