The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
