I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
There's always time for handjobs
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
