I just cut my nipple shaving
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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