YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
