just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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