Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
