FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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