You smell like stripper and shame
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize