it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
