Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
