but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
He better not be in your backpack
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
