the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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