Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
