Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
