Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Everything about him screamed your future.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
