If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize