so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
