The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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