I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
