wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
