best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
