I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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