I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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