I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
my poor anus
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
