dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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