Sacagawea was the original milf.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
