He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize