i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
