almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
