he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
