every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
