i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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