Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
