New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You're like the curious george of whores
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
