Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
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