Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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