I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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