Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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